867-5309 is the other Jenny's number.

I got to see the high school where I'll be student teaching this fall, and I met both of my cooperating teachers, who are both really nice. I also got an armload of high school English and History textbooks, which means I get to spend the rest of the summer figuring out how to be a teacher before I actually have live students, who, by the way, mostly speak a language I like to call Spanish, which I do not happen to speak.

If you need to order something at a French restaurant or discuss the Paris weather in the simple present tense, I'm your woman, but Spanish... Shit. Well, I guess I'll just have to learn it. Which reminds me, read this for more amusing insights into learning a foreign language if you haven't already read it about 67 times like I have.

Funny story: semi-crazy but very nice repairman who was fixing our kitchen sink went into veeeeery long winded paranoid theories about...

1) Cancer: "Invented by Pfizer."

2) Federal Reserve: "Created on vanished secret island illegally by the Rockefellers and Morgans."

3) Faulty kitchen faucet: "Missing a washer."

Conclusion? Repairman loco. See, I DO speak a little Espanol! =)

Read this if you want to get really angry and/or get all jumpy and do something about it.

I wanna go to Switzerland! The only places I'm going today are PetSmart and SuperTarget.

CarrieOkie, I salute you. Represent our people well. Resist your deeply ingrained American urges to:

1.) Wear a neon orange fanny pack. (I swear, I've seen Americans wearing them while eating dinner in nice cafes in Paris. But you are much too fashion forward for this one, of course.)

2.) Complain about the lack of air conditioning. (This shouldn't be problem, you like the heat, and let's face it, it's not going to be that hot up in the mountains.)

3.) Turn up your nose at the native cuisine. (Uh oh. Just smile and give the food you don't want to a passing dog. They let them into restaurants sometimes.)

4.) Mention WWII.


I'll send you all a postcard from SuperTarget. Au Revoir!

# posted by Jen @ 9:05 AM

Why O why are wireless companies so freaking evil?? Trying to find a family plan is the contemporary equivalent of planning Operation Overlord, except everyone is either blind in one eye, or has no feet, and you can only use ping pong balls to hurl at the enemy.

And now I've made fun of the Greatest Generation sufficiently.


I got sunburned, and then I saw a commercial for Coppertone (it was all serious about skin cancer) and I felt so guilty. But everyone looks so much better with a TAN! To quote someone from book I read, (without quotation marks) anyone who has ever seen a piece of white, fatty uncooked bacon get that pleasant brown color as it fries knows its better to be tan.

Except for the skin cancer.

I agree with RJP
"Soul Plane" is evil. ( He didn't actually say that. Click the link.) I can only pray that Oprah's forthcoming home decorating magazine can undo the damage. I'm not sure how that would work (subtract one Method Man line for every throw pillow with matching accent rug?....) but we can hope.

In case anyone noticed, I posted the same incredibly interesting post about sesame seed bagels and other enthralling drivel approximately 7 times yesterday b/c I kept getting an error message. I have learned an important lesson. That lesson is to stop being an idiot.

P.S. I ate another bagel for breakfast. I'll let you know when my life is worth a post.

P.P.S. I got a call from one of my cooperating teachers this AM. Sounds nice. Yay!

I ate a sesame seed bagel for breakfast this morning, and can I just say that bagels are nature's perfect food. (Yes I can. I just did.) Not bananas like they say in the Chiquita commercial after the old man jumps over a hurdle. Bagels.

Just because there is a considerable amount of human intervention required to make a bagel doesn't mean they aren't natural like strawberries, or rutabegas. Just ask the Lord, He'll tell you. His favorite variety is blueberry, which I find controversial, as bagels are supposed to be platforms for creamy/salty/savory toppings, but He is God, so I'll let it pass.


Oh yeah, and I found out yesterday where I'll be student teaching in the fall. E-mail me if you want to find out where. I have a paranoid fear of being sued for talking about my experiences in such a public forum. Considering I have to send a set of fingerprints into the F.B.I. just to be a student teacher, I don't think I'm being too cautious. (If you think I'm kidding about the prints, you are so wrong.)

I saw "Alien," for the first time last nite. I didn't think it was possible for someone my age to wait so long to see "Alien," but I did. It was good. I think. I don't know, I think I'm supposed to think it was good.

I love V8. It's sooo good, and it only has 70 calories! Woo hoo! Excellent snack.

This is my life. Comments about V8. Jeesh.

Diet Coke with Lime??

A big squishy ball of admiration goes out to RJP for his excellent TV recommendations---Anyone who doesn't love "Arrested Development," is completely stupid and possibly evil. Since I'm restricting my TV intake to "improve myself," this summer, "Arrested Development," will certainly be a part of my lineup.

I also need a list of 10 or so movies that would be good for my entire family to see. Sister and I don't like to watch nudey moany love scenes or mega-violence with the parents.

However, RJP, I am concerned that you have completely lost your mind! Diet Coke with Lime tastes like aftershave, specifically the blue kind from the ads with that old guy from "City Slickers." Jack Palance, that's his name. I weep for you and your taste buds. You should try Diet Dr. Pepper, it's good.

Also, Pistachio ice cream is very good, but it doesn't even compare with 1.) cinnamon or 2.) peppermint stick ice cream. Mint chip is for weenies. Having said that, it's in my top 5 ice cream flavors, because I am a weenie.

The low-carb revolution is getting out of hand. I saw a sign in Lawrence,KS that said, "Try our Low-Carb Guitars." Ha! And the low carb ice cream tastes like absolute poo. Pretty soon low carbers and food guide pyramid devotees are going to be fighting in the streets.

My prediction: any diet that rules out real bagels is doomed to fail. Solution? The Popeye's fried chicken diet. Not healthy per se, but eventually you'll get sick of it (after 5-6 years) and you won't be able to eat that spicy chicken more than three or four times a day.

I worked out again this AM, and I think I hurt my knee. Oops. On the plus side, I worked out, and will soon be all worky outy looking or something. Possibly not. More later.


CarrieOkie: How's the South Beach going? Dad has reached goal weight after two months (men have it soooo easy.)

I worked out today, and I must say, I'm impressed with myself. I sweated and huffed and puffed, and that was just from trying to put on a sports bra. (rim shot.)


Step Two: Working out again tomorrow.


Does anyone else think it's insane that I have to send in a set of fingerprints to the FBI just so I can student teach???

Goal of the summer: watch less TV, read more books. I need some suggestions for reading material. I need variety. Help me.

Also: Eat more vegetables and fruits. Someone please tell me how I can eat 5 to 9 servings of fruits and vegetables. I can't even imagine it.

I just worked out for the first time in a loooooong time. It was actually pretty sad, I wasn't "into it," the way the people on the video were. Sure, I contracted my abs (wherever they might be) and squeezed my glutes, but I just wasn't very enthusiastic about it.

The last time I ran it was because a spider the size of a kaiser roll was about to land on my head while I sat in bed watching This Week with George Stephanopolous. Luckily George Will was talking at the time, so I didn't miss anything.

Anyway, the point is, I'm trying to get in shape. I forsee two obstacles:

1.) I hate getting sweaty.

2.) I hate putting on sports bras. It's like trying to...

um...

force a human rib cage into a tiny band of spandex and elastic.


So if anyone has some useful advice on how to start a fitness program, let me know. Better yet, just start the program yourself and tell me how it goes. I'll be sipping a Diet Coke and trying to figure out how I can sweat my way thin without actually exerting myself. Hello sweat pants!

P.S. I have a gift for making myself sound attractive, don't I?

I have a wicked bad hangnail, the milk for my coffee has ice crystals in it, my ponytail has a bump in it that makes my head look like someone was using it to practice his/her golf swing, and I'm listening to "Africa," by Toto, on purpose.

I watched 2 episodes of MASH last night and almost started crying because of something Radar said, and all of my friends have real-live grown up jobs and relationships.

I, on the other hand, am studying for a final in "Heathful Living," that will mostly cover riveting information like the caloric content of iceberg lettuce and why we should exercise. (Interesting health tidbit: smoking is bad for you.)

When we did the sexual health chapter, my twenty-something instructor put up a diagram of the female body from the view of a doctor giving a pelvic exam (let that sink in for a moment) and said, "I'm assuming this is review for everyone." As if someone would raise his hand and say, "What the hell is THAT?"

Music (other than Toto) I like today: The Pernice Brothers, Boston (don't ask)

Books: "Wicked." It's like "The Wizard of Oz" with soap opera-esque plot twists. You won't believe who the Wicked Witch of the West's father is...That's right. Dorothy.

TV: I'm watching "Extreme Makeover," if I make it home in time. Don't judge me.