Monday, May 23, 2005
I'm drinking the follwing two beverages in mass quantities:
1.) Green Goodness Juice. It looks like slime on a pond, and tastes like apple juice. It's good for you, because it looks like scum.
2.) Ice tea. (Not "iced" tea--that's not how anyone says it, and I'm not writing it that way) Unsweet. (Not "unsweetened"--that's a horrible sounding word) Starbucks has excellent ice tea, by the by.
I have also graduated to drinking black coffee, which I consider to be a crucial stage in my life. Now I appreciate the coffee. As someone somewhere once said to someone, "If you wanted coffee, why'd you drink all that damn cream and sugar?" Precisely.
I'm going now for a walk in the wimpy woods by the man-made lake (where actual water mocassins live--oh holy shit) to relieve the horrible cramping in my thighs....
1.) Green Goodness Juice. It looks like slime on a pond, and tastes like apple juice. It's good for you, because it looks like scum.
2.) Ice tea. (Not "iced" tea--that's not how anyone says it, and I'm not writing it that way) Unsweet. (Not "unsweetened"--that's a horrible sounding word) Starbucks has excellent ice tea, by the by.
I have also graduated to drinking black coffee, which I consider to be a crucial stage in my life. Now I appreciate the coffee. As someone somewhere once said to someone, "If you wanted coffee, why'd you drink all that damn cream and sugar?" Precisely.
I'm going now for a walk in the wimpy woods by the man-made lake (where actual water mocassins live--oh holy shit) to relieve the horrible cramping in my thighs....
The day after tomorrow I will be in the air above the Atlantic, probably eating a Cliff bar and drinking Diet Coke out of a little Virgin Atlantic plastic cup with those weird ice cubes they always have on airplanes. Hot damn!
I played softball last night for Dad's church team (which is so very pathetic and untalented that they were actually glad to have me there to play). I played catcher, and I forgot how crappy it is when a pitcher sucks and you have to chase the ball around from that crouching position. I also got nailed in the leg with a line drive while I was on 3rd base. My run still scored, though. Too bad we needed about 13 more runs to even tie the game, but oh well. Now my freakin' thighs are killing me, my shoulder hurts, and I have the beginnings of a nasty bruise on my leg.
Dad and I went fishing last night, too, and I caught two fish. I even baited my own hook, although I made girly noises.
I guess yesterday I was filling in for the brother I never had =)
It's really hot here, and it's like50 degrees and rainy in Scotland now. Hmmm. I have a feeling Mom is going to be cold the whole time, and my hair is going to be an insane curly white girl 'fro. Yikes.
I played softball last night for Dad's church team (which is so very pathetic and untalented that they were actually glad to have me there to play). I played catcher, and I forgot how crappy it is when a pitcher sucks and you have to chase the ball around from that crouching position. I also got nailed in the leg with a line drive while I was on 3rd base. My run still scored, though. Too bad we needed about 13 more runs to even tie the game, but oh well. Now my freakin' thighs are killing me, my shoulder hurts, and I have the beginnings of a nasty bruise on my leg.
Dad and I went fishing last night, too, and I caught two fish. I even baited my own hook, although I made girly noises.
I guess yesterday I was filling in for the brother I never had =)
It's really hot here, and it's like50 degrees and rainy in Scotland now. Hmmm. I have a feeling Mom is going to be cold the whole time, and my hair is going to be an insane curly white girl 'fro. Yikes.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
I'm moving to Roanoke, Virginia.
Wow.
Weird, huh?
I actually got accepted into an MFA creative writing program at Hollins University http://www.hollins.edu/about/about_tour.htm
which is one of the most beauty-full (as they say in Appalachia) college campuses I have ever seen.
I went there to visit this past weekend and met the director of the program took a tour of the campus. I took some shit for being from Kansas (which I'm not, really), which I didn't expect since I was visting moonshine-no indoor turlets here miss-toothless yahoo-Deliverance territory.
But to be honest, I had a genuine indoor turlet and I was not assaulted by any scary hillbillies. There were a very large number of Hardees and Dollar Tree stores, though....and not even one Starbucks, which is distressing and yet wonderfully life-affirming at the same time.
My next goals are to find an apartment and figure out how I'm going to spend two years writing stuff.
Wouldn't it be cool if I became like the next Mary Higgins Clark or something really lame like that, and you'd see people in the airport with my paperbacks that had titles like "She Walks in Shadows" or something stupid like that and there was a really cheesy air-brushed picture of me on the back and you could tell the chubby business man in line with you at Starbucks that you went to high school with me, and that yes, Jenny's books are trash, but hey, she has her own lear jet!
Actually, I''ll probably publish one sad looking collection of essays by the time I'm 35 that will linger in regional bookstores until they're sold at a loss to one of those HUGE BOOK SALE! places they always set up where a Kmart has gone out of business where people will pass them by as they flock to the stacks of Mary Higgins Clark paperbacks and weird sci-fi novels no one has ever heard of like "The Dragontooth Chronicles: Book 142."
So anyway, I hope people will come to visit if they can. The Blue Ridge mountains are purty enough to make you howl like a coon hound and bite your own Ma. Or something like that.
The Appalachian Trail goes right by town (read "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson, it's great) and they sell Moonpies at all the gas stations. Yum.
Oh yeah, and I'm going to Scotland next Wednesday. Woo hoo! I'm tracking down The Proclaimers. They are right ugly bastards, but I do love that song...I get to see my sister for the first time since Jan. 31st and walk around in Scotland, the land of at least half of my kinfolk! I'm so excited, I could just shite =) I'll take lots of pics and post them (if I can figure it out) when I return. I'll be back June 8th. So if you call, I won't be picking up the phone.
My mom got a full time job as a social worker at a school here in Loathe (Olathe--nifty, huh) I'm very proud of her, and very glad that I won't have her job since it involves something called a safe room...she's a brave little woman!
Let's see, what else.....oh yeah, Lucky has started peeing on our beds. We thought it was because she was scared during thunderstorms (she is a basketcase during storms) but no, she's just peeing on the furniture now. Is it old age? Jesus, Mary and Joseph I will be forced to jump off the the roof when she dies. God I love that dog. She still acts like a puppy for the most part--maybe a second childhood? Long story short, I now have a vinyl matress protector on my bed (which was hit twice, and still smells despite a professional steam cleaning) so now I can pee my pj pants to my heart's content. No more trips to the potty in the middle of the night for me!
And on that note, I return to typing a report for my grandpa (technical specs for a transformer anyone?) and writing "Glade Odor-Killing fans" on the shopping list. Welcome back Meggie, Lucky peed all over your bed!
Wow.
Weird, huh?
I actually got accepted into an MFA creative writing program at Hollins University http://www.hollins.edu/about/about_tour.htm
which is one of the most beauty-full (as they say in Appalachia) college campuses I have ever seen.
I went there to visit this past weekend and met the director of the program took a tour of the campus. I took some shit for being from Kansas (which I'm not, really), which I didn't expect since I was visting moonshine-no indoor turlets here miss-toothless yahoo-Deliverance territory.
But to be honest, I had a genuine indoor turlet and I was not assaulted by any scary hillbillies. There were a very large number of Hardees and Dollar Tree stores, though....and not even one Starbucks, which is distressing and yet wonderfully life-affirming at the same time.
My next goals are to find an apartment and figure out how I'm going to spend two years writing stuff.
Wouldn't it be cool if I became like the next Mary Higgins Clark or something really lame like that, and you'd see people in the airport with my paperbacks that had titles like "She Walks in Shadows" or something stupid like that and there was a really cheesy air-brushed picture of me on the back and you could tell the chubby business man in line with you at Starbucks that you went to high school with me, and that yes, Jenny's books are trash, but hey, she has her own lear jet!
Actually, I''ll probably publish one sad looking collection of essays by the time I'm 35 that will linger in regional bookstores until they're sold at a loss to one of those HUGE BOOK SALE! places they always set up where a Kmart has gone out of business where people will pass them by as they flock to the stacks of Mary Higgins Clark paperbacks and weird sci-fi novels no one has ever heard of like "The Dragontooth Chronicles: Book 142."
So anyway, I hope people will come to visit if they can. The Blue Ridge mountains are purty enough to make you howl like a coon hound and bite your own Ma. Or something like that.
The Appalachian Trail goes right by town (read "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson, it's great) and they sell Moonpies at all the gas stations. Yum.
Oh yeah, and I'm going to Scotland next Wednesday. Woo hoo! I'm tracking down The Proclaimers. They are right ugly bastards, but I do love that song...I get to see my sister for the first time since Jan. 31st and walk around in Scotland, the land of at least half of my kinfolk! I'm so excited, I could just shite =) I'll take lots of pics and post them (if I can figure it out) when I return. I'll be back June 8th. So if you call, I won't be picking up the phone.
My mom got a full time job as a social worker at a school here in Loathe (Olathe--nifty, huh) I'm very proud of her, and very glad that I won't have her job since it involves something called a safe room...she's a brave little woman!
Let's see, what else.....oh yeah, Lucky has started peeing on our beds. We thought it was because she was scared during thunderstorms (she is a basketcase during storms) but no, she's just peeing on the furniture now. Is it old age? Jesus, Mary and Joseph I will be forced to jump off the the roof when she dies. God I love that dog. She still acts like a puppy for the most part--maybe a second childhood? Long story short, I now have a vinyl matress protector on my bed (which was hit twice, and still smells despite a professional steam cleaning) so now I can pee my pj pants to my heart's content. No more trips to the potty in the middle of the night for me!
And on that note, I return to typing a report for my grandpa (technical specs for a transformer anyone?) and writing "Glade Odor-Killing fans" on the shopping list. Welcome back Meggie, Lucky peed all over your bed!
